Make an impression

Whenever there's 'What is your first impression about me?' talks, everyones opinion about me dao, fierce, scary, blah nth more than that. I do agree because I tend to raise my guard up high until I know a person well enough to be a lil crazy. I prevent anyone from reading me even if that means being judged because I have learnt not to trust anyone. Im really reserved, but I usually am the one breaking the ice because everyone is shy to do so. But Im honestly really nice, everyone has got to admit this! Unless you are one in a million bitch face that repeatedly eats every patience out of me.

Do I want to change my first impression? Yes. But sometimes I tend to be a little forceful and blunt sigh Im sorry but I dont mean it :( I tend to be cuter/nicer/sweeter to people who are older but not my age. People judge too quickly!! And im glad to realise that judging isnt a way to know a person. Put into the shoes of others and you will know.

Confidence

Yknow how girls like stalking girls and sometimes that lowers their self esteem because they arent 'pretty' enough? Dont deny that Im not one of them so many times I wanna dig a hole for myself. I realize guys (single or attached) like stalking girls but do they stalk guys? Apparantly no because they're not gay but we girls arent lesbians either. Are guys that egoistic/confident to not want to improve themselves? Why is it necessary for guys to have a little 'feast' with their eyes. Maybe it applies to a minority of girls too but I dont understand this at all. Is it necessary? I guess its just me and my cat like traits. Curiosity kills the cat? The below explains alot on how a girl changes and acts when she's with her boyfriend but how many guys realize this? I would daringly say only 20% maximum. I dont mean to make guys look bad but seriously? It IS that simple.

Path

2013 will not end broken. Neither will it be fixed. The path I chose the steps I take, it will be worth it it will be good.

Slowly I am beginning to cope a lot better. I knew I could. Always had a mind so determined and strong sometimes im not sure if its normal. I've learnt so much, changed so much to be better to put myself in the shoes of others. I havent felt anyone putting me in their shoes but i'll just live with it. Just waiting for someone to be good to me to understand to care to love.

I just wanna cry for joy, just once. I've cried way too many times on public just because I havent felt good or happy worthy over anything. I distance, I feel it and I hate it. I hate how i stupidly put myself in this position. I even have second thoughts on my anticipated trip now. I dont think i'll be happy at all.

I thought I was going to be fine. But it struck me time after time. It doesnt mean its going to be okay the next day even if today seems fine.

It started simple. And then I knew I was going to love you forever. Even when it hurts to breathe. I just can't love another the same, period.

I dont think id ever find a replacement for you. And i dont want to.