I don't like how my mind is able to affect my thinking. In a negative way of course. I allow myself to recall the horrible things I've seen, heard and felt. Everything in my life seems to be a lie. Maybe I'm dead, my life is just lagging (lolol). I wanna believe what I'm seeing and hearing, but my mind recalls the negative past. I cry and cry and cry. It's the only thing I can do to tire me out and put me to sleep. I don't know how to trust, because I've been hearing the same all story. The boy who cried wolf? Maybe you deserve the state you're in and nobody will ever believe you. Well not me. Then you may ask me why I even bother putting in effort. Maybe i'm living in too much denial to tell myself nothing will be true. My eye lids are wearing a ton as I'm typing this.
Somebody please take me away and show me the truth. Even if its ugly. I can't live in lies anymore.
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